No, we're smoking outside. We're hot boxing the world.
No - a douche bag is not a fashion accessory. They do not make Gucci Douchebags
the man who designed bathrooms to have toilets within easy puking distance from the shower is my hero
At the hospital. Forgot we locked Eric out of the house last night as a joke. Hypothermia's a bitch.
We can't bring brittanys dog so we are getting high and getting in my bathtub I think it's pretty safe
Petty good. I just stapled a 5 dollar bill onto the chest of a sword swallower.
after he went down on me he said he wanted an air freshener for his car scented like my vag. i cant even.
I can get stoned and we can bake and then I can eat 70% of it and it will be awesome
Just passed the animal clinic parking lot I had to pull over to puke in during welcome week. I can almost hear the dogs barking at my shame again.
I feel like asking for a towel for after I puke before I puke to be more respectful than jus going outside to puke and coming back inside covered in sweat and tears.
Found out my grandpa had two wives and found out I'm eligible for some internships 11/10 would do acid again.
ditto.
about cumming, not toast
Taking care of drunk people fulfills my need to be a mother
I'm a fuck boy trapped in a single mom's body.
I ACCIDENTALLY SUPER LIKED HIM. I JUST DELETED TINDER FROM MY PHONE.
Randomize
