I'll let you put expensive food in me, but really, not much else.
the girl next to me in class just threw up in a waterbottle during our exam.
dude your girlfriend is running naked down the hall with a raw chicken taped to her stomach saying this is what I'll look like pregnant...run far far away
Plotting your own moral demise should not be this fun
You don't have to believe me. My vagina knows it happened.
We knew it was a good time to leave when you spilt the salsa on the ground and were trying to put it back in the jar with your hands
just got home to find my brothers naked on the floor covered in chocolate. i am now nervous about sleeping in the same room as them
There is always the bar, but 2 30 on a Tuesday just screams alcoholism
A special kind of bond is formed between two people when they act as a pee shield for one another for drunken pisses in an alleyway
As planned I took it to the limit. Then we met a new limit. Now they are limit friends.
WE'RE MOVING TO IRELAND!!!! DON'T ASK QUESTIONS JUST BOOK THE DAMN FLIGHT!!!!
If Plan B had a rewards card I would have earned so many free tote bags by now
A girl just managed to steal a whole gallon of ice cream. I'm letting her go because that is impressive.
Quote of the night award goes to my father "I like wearing my swim trunks around the house because they are cooler and more blousy for my balls". Yay dad
thanks for supporting my whoreish tendencies
Randomize
