I think any school that has COCKS written on it's baseball hats has their priorities straight.
he was persistant. I supposedly owe him a bj from high school.
there's no toilet paper. I'm using wheat bread.
I just shaved my vag with a razor my dad left when he was here a few months ago. Too hungover to think about the Freudian connotations
I am now the only person in my apartment who hasn't had sex in my bed.
what are we doing this weekend?
I have enough booze to get us through Armageddon...which basically means that on Sunday we will have to make a trip to the liquor store.
I walked in, the bartender looked at me, grabbed 3 shot glasses and a pounder. Lined them up on the bar then made a line with salt on the other side of them and said I wasn't allowed to cross it.
I peed sitting down because I knew standing was a lost cause
a guy offered me a piece of pizza if I'd make out with a random girl. We got the whole damn box and I ain't even mad
Sorry, that was mean and I didn't mean it. I'm just mad at condoms
I don't think tits should taste like fish.
He's good looking but he really sounds like kermit the frog, can you imagine how fucking him would sound like?
He is 6'5, went to a Christian school and he's a violinist....I'm going to fuck the jesus right out of him.
So how do u get your coat out of the coat room when someone is fucking on it?
It's been a week I should not still be finding glitter in my pants.
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