Letd wlk him
Lrtd walek hime
Lets wlk home,,,ther we go
I accidentally requested the ides of march off instead of st patricks day. Is this an omen? will alcohol be my brutus?
There's two girls at the bar sniffing each others boobs.
I'm fucking an ugly guy. Don't come home.
well now I have to
Apparently I blacked out and pissed all over the sliding glass door from the inside, as everyone watched from the outside helplessly....
So the old dude that tried to fight me is definitely Katie's dad. And the pot cookie's kicking in. Shit is getting weird.
Is it weird that the girl he dated after me had a child with him and it has my name? I think it means he's not over me. Or I'm really self absorbed...
Not saying puking on the side of a cab was how I imagined freshman year of med school but...
There is someone out there for you right now. And we will find her. Or him. Her. Her, we'll start with tits.
Dude I was walking down the street and threw up in a plastic cvs bag. Tequila wins again.
We have a shopping cart in our front lawn. Also Mickey D's breakfast?
I gave up great shower sex to be here so don't say I never did anything for our friendship.
I told you naked hot tub wrestling would turn bad now one of us has a gash on the head and another a black eye
I am coming home with the worst sun burn of my life, two unused condoms, and an unworn slutty dress. Worst. Bachelorette. Party. Ever.
My fire has petered out without you
My Peter has fired out without you
That might be the most romantic thing you’ve said to me, unfortunately.
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