u know u need to get laid when watching mike wazowskis gf from monsters inc makes u horny
I know I'm really high but I swear I just saw him beating off to his fantasy football roster.
I woke up on the stairs at of a Disneyland hotel. Yes, my night was amazing.
smoking a bowl while I'm peeing. i love having a big dick.
There is a slip-n-slide in the hallway and a girl just did it topless cuz I told her it was my birthday. Where are you?
I'm not holding out much hope. She met me in a nighclub when I was arguing with the cigarette machine
hey, this is the ginger girl from the party...i've thought about it and I wanna join the american girl drinking team
I can't straight up say the only reason I smoked a couple bowls with you was for your three legged cat
I'm just saying. If this how my magic vagina shows it's magic then I don't want any
It might've been him telling me last night that he "doesn't even need beer goggles to fuck me." When I thought that was sweet, I realized something needed to change.
I'll be home next weekend. Its mothers day. Let's party just enough so we are frightened it might be our first
When we pulled over so you could pee, you made us stand over you and "make a roof"
but how can he casually chat with my father 8 hours after asking me if i'm a screamer
Hey Cat, it's Michael. You made out with me for a hot dog last night and I feel super used.
He FaceTimed me fucking his new girlfriend. He was wearing a banana costume.
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