p.s. this guy just tipped me with ecstasy pills. is this real life
I think my emotional moodswings have reached a new low. I cried for the entire duration of changing my tampon.
I love being friends with rich people. I get laid by association.
You keep asking me questions like I have this magical thing called a memory
whoever threw up in my shampooo bottle is totally getting defriended on facebook.
i tried to stop you. you just kept saying your split ends needed punishment.
Oh come on. There's no way I was the only female choir student taking shots in the back room.
I made mike pull over so I could lay in the grass. He made me get up cuz I looked dead and people were passing. It was like 6:30am.
It's either my own vomit or popcorn butter in my ear right now. Banking on the second one.
We made popcorn last night. So it's both
I left the guinea pigs on the dryer. Make sure to take care of them.
But break dance skills will only take you so far
You said you brought chipotle into a movie and I asked you to marry me and you said yes
"There should be some kind of award for sleeping with your ex 9 times in 3 days."
Also, don't forget your plan to die young at a shrooms-fueled orgy.
i'm 99% sure they had an orgy while i was passed out
So many people have told me I have great tits tonight, I'm unstoppable
Randomize
