are we going to glenview for practice??
(3 hrs later) aids
where r u? what is story? im way too high right now
Girl next to me just ralphed in a bag. Congrats class of 2010
This girl has a second refrigerator that she uses JUST for liquor, her kitchen chairs are kegs AND she can grill. I'm not coming back.
Well the police had to intervene and I couldn't exactly feel my legs by the end of the night, but I'd say it was a successful Friday night.
He makes me want to shower. It must be love.
Bunch of Navy warships just sailed into New York Harbor for Fleet Week. Nobodys getting laid this weekend.
6 beers, 3 orange crushes, & half a fire ball later & you get my alter ego.
Impromptu road trip to New Orleans for four days of Mardi Gras. I'll probably be alive and back for Valentine's Day plans, probably won't stick my dick in some random either-might be using my free pass you cheating asshat. Love you. Expect random texts & probably a drunk dial or twelve. You did this to yourself. You're not invited so don't bother. Have fun at work.
I just got hit on at the bar by a guy who used his mother as a wingman, she was pretty convincing. Only in Stratford.
But we only had three ninja turtles. So everyone that would ask us where Donatello was, we would say "what? He's gone? Shredder is at it again!"
Try eating a sub blackout with your uncle. It's not easy ok
Nothing can teach you regret more efficiently than a wine hangover.
No biggie, just trying to keep my liver function in the green
We probably are going to die. So. Thanks for agreeing to be my Maid of Honor even though I torture you.
I just found your shirt hanging in a tree 4 blocks from the party...in the opposite direction of your house. where are you going?
Randomize
