But honestly u used to be a cool guy and lately uve been superame(734): Superlame
There's a sucker born every minute but swallowers are harder to find.
So glad I found your sister.
i am devastated. she was DTF and I was about to puke, i told her to wait outside my room for a second. Puked. Passed out woke up, she was gone. Found puke stains on my keyboard that seem to spell out youporn....
keep it on the DL tho cause i dont want it getting out and it coming off like i kidnapped her or something
Yeah I hope so. Definately just saw two freshmen in very authentic togas and cotton ball beards. This new class is stepping it up.
just asked if they'd gift wrap go-go taquitos for you at 7-eleven
They called security on the security guard who tried to break up the party in their suite. You tell me how drunk they were.
I'd rate him "doable" on a scale from "ew, run" to "you should've already fucked him".
That's about an "8" on normal scales.
I may or may not be taking a bath listening to the Phantom of the Opera. This lovely moment brought to you by xanax.
captain cockblock got me again last night so i put a squirrel in his room and jamed the door shut
After i finished him. He goes "youre a champion"... Then whispers "forever"
She dressed up in a sexy maid outfit for me, but she got mad when I asked her to actually do some cleaning.
I just almost caught my floor on fire, then decided I could put it out with my knuckles! So I'm doing good!
The girl who comes up after me always strips to Lana Del Rey. I didn't think working in a strip club could be any more depressing.
Update: the condoms are expired and Canadians are NOT to be trusted!
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