In retrospect, pretending to punch a 9 year old girl in the face was a terrible analogy to use in a piano lesson.
she was seriously choking and the whole time all he kept saying was "that's what she said"
Oh the joys of strong arming a man into exclusivity
I decided they need a food cart that just roams around the library like the cotton candy people at the circus. But with real food. like tacos cause it sounds delicious.
It's home.......I'm going to the store in disguise to get skittles and cake frosting. Then I'll eat the frosting in a dark corner while I cry and wonder what I did to deserve this.
I never thought that it would get to the point where I would have to specify that by "hang out" I meant "fuck like rabbits." Growing up shouldn't be this way.
at first i was on the bathroom floor cuz i was hungover. now im just here because it is cool
But for real, I had the best sex of my life on that bunk bed
You knew you'd end up at his house the minute you emptied the bowl of condoms into your purse.
The name of the man in your bed is not Ryan. I can't remember what his name is but that is wrong
Part of my tooth flew in my eye when the dentist was drilling my cavity then I was sent to the ER. Fucking never going back
i like that he makes me laugh. those are like my two favorite things. laughing and fucking.
He was about to go in...and he fell off the bed. Ruined mood!
If I don’t find a quality dick soon I’m going to beg the neighbor for another threesome with her and her husband. It’s like Covid killed all the quality penis Vegas normally has
Unless my dick prospects improve this year’s Halloween costume will include panties with “DTF” written on them and a push up bra
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