Oh and I watched laurens last episode on the hills. its been an emotional day
I will fuck a handful of worms if you hold them
alex threw up in my bong. i'm going to call it a night.
He proposed that we "bone". I've completely given up on boys.
Had a dream I was a monkey and smoked pot out of a bong made out of a tree
Do you think she's aware of my deep hatred or should I set her hair on fire in her sleep?
i think you ate grass..but you refused to open your mouth so we could see..
Sorry I tried to blow your roommate in your room. I felt more at home there.
Just erased 'masturbate' from my mental To-Do list because I've got too much stuff to do. I hate adulthood
I'm going to shower the piss off me now. I feel like I was in an R. Kelly dream.
He can only pee with the faucet running. It's like I'm dating a fucking toddler.
I smell like lime and condoms and I really want a waffle. Fuk
I don't think I've ever met a guy with a bush bad enough that I would choose a cactus over it.
There’s a special place in hell for tall guys with small dicks
I puked on someone's floor last night and then they proceeded to ask me on a date.
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