..well, okay, so long as I don't have to wear an apron or vaccum in high heels.
nope just do me i'm drunk and easy to plz
I was thinking about texting her and telling her I had syphilis when I was with her and that she should get tested. just for shits and giggles. skank dahaha
don't read that magazine bro. I came in it
i never realize how drunk i am until i start using people as human stripper poles
We're playing Big Buck Hunter to determine who buys the next pitchers. And they said video games wouldn't help me later in life
These 3 days between Christmas and new years when all the bosses are on vacation are essentially a competition to see who can do the least amount of work
she just threw a smoke bomb in an elevator and ran down 9 flights of stairs to see it at the bottom.
No. My vagina is not the scapegoat for your poor decisions.
I think you're too young for vagina rejuvenation but I guess you have never been one to listen. Sounds good! You bring the Percocet ill bring the vodka!
I miss yesterday.Today's hangover makes yesterday's look like a little girl with blonde ringlets playing hopscotch in the street with a ginger kitten.
what compelled you to fill her bra with pudding and freeze it in the first place?
i might remember if i didn't get knocked out with it later that day.
Putting Chia seeds in beer makes it ok for my diet, right?
You left me a voice message at 5 a.m. It was mostly incoherent noise, you screaming my name and then something about a man with two butt holes...
You know that gay bartender? Not as gay as we thought.....
There was a woman who drank mouth wash to get drunk during her supposed detox...this is def the internship for me!
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