Let's perk you up. I have a good PG joke and a picture of my penis while urinating. You pick.
false alarm. still invincible.
everyone knows that carl winslow was the sexiest man in die hard.
she won't take no for an answer... no matter what language i said it in
We sold so many girl scout cookies when we were little. What went wrong?
okay, this game isn't funny anymore. tell us where all the forks are.
You promised me a handle of vodka if I took home her ugly friend. Thanks to law class I took for the 2nd time I know that's a unilateral contract asshole
I peed in my sheets during a dream. Like straight up. A whole new drunk.
Last time i was there we saw the window of the pizza place we were at get busted, we were pulled out of a taxi to be questioned by the cops, and we peed outside a waffle house. I'm in.
First of all guys don't have walks of shame. Secondly there is nothing more epic than riding the skytrain in a toga while everyone else is going to work
Today is National Blunt Day in the Great State of Me. Come ovah
I'm no doctor but I don't think balls are supposed to look like that.
:(. i have vodka in a fire extinguisher. that solves all problems. except fires. it would actually make that worse.
I got all the way to work before I realized there were Trojans in my bra.
You know, I'm starting to enjoy brazilians. One day I'm going to make a therapist very very happy.
Randomize
