You know you want to come over later
1:27a: Um no
1:45a: Maybe
2:05a: Probably
2:38a: I'm outside, let me in
There's a vagina buried somewhere in there.
Its Shannon Doherty lazy not Forest Whittaker lazy
We made a drinking game out of poaching eggs. When did our life turn into a really awesome version of Top Chef?
And when we woke up we made beer pancakes. Great start to a family picture day.
Its like every time I go out with you, it always involves Serbian chicks and taco bell and you always manage to get both all over my bed.
Well right now I am watching him use the fire extinguisher off the pourch.
So apparently we dropped beers outside the apartment last night, and someone RETURNED them! Ha like what? I just walked out the front door to Christmas in a box on my doorstep.
I definitely made out with a high school student last night while his sister and my brother were in the same room. I think we're all traumatized by the situation.
no im not bringing booze its easy, you just challenge a drunk guy to beer pong, he'll hand you two beers, you lose on purpose, and everyone makes fun of you. but we laugh in the end for bringing nothing to a byob
I mean I don't object to weird looking penis as long as it gets the job done. I just need to get it in. I'm gonna be humping chairs soon.
Just saw you in traffic. You may have noticed me, I was the corpse driving the white car.
Did I really make him pull over to give the homeless guy my bra?
I can't help the fact that i'm turned on by white boys that look like Jesus
I felt like I needed to shower with a Mr. Clean Magic Eraser.
Randomize
