He said "what's the haps". I don't know what the haps are but there goes his chances
just threw up in the bus full of other international students just outside of boulder, just keeping the aussie reputation alive
He just became a fan of Chelsea Handler on Facebook. WHY DO I ALWAYS PICK THE GAY ONE
Only I could do what I did last night and feel perfectly ok working around children the next day
He's having sex with his gf again. Every thump of his bed against the wall is insulting to our one night stand.
In the last 3 months, I've slept with an ex,someone single, someone in a relationship, someone married, and someone divorced. I should get some type of grown up girl scouts badge.
Bro if you don't text me back I'm gonna send you a picture of my nut sack every ten seconds for the rest of the night. I'm home alone with nothing to do. Don't push me.
No, just kidding. But your faith in me to throw a lesbian bridal shower makes me think I an pull it off. To the LGBT bar!
I swear to god he's making pineapple onions and cheese. He thinks he's making eggs onions and cheese
Give me a second. I'm doing my best but I'm drunk so for some reason fitting both my boobs in the pic is just incredibly difficult. They aren't THAT big. I'm just being retarded.
Good news: you're over the drunk crying life phase. Bad news: now you're handy and violent. You were groping me from behind in front of the guy you like, then you put me in a headlock and swept the leg.
Nothing like a little " am I gonna shit myself " to spice up the work day
Was it you that ate my bacon or do I have to rip my roommate's face off?
I woke up next to a box of cheese bread it was super romantic
I think the cop who arrested me yesterday is at my gym rn should I say hi
Randomize
