Come with me and I'll find you a girl. What's your type?
Vagina
The ticket read "Found nude in a tree"
Id pretty much put it in anything at this point. Jello. Dogs. 12 year old boys
I wish I could rss feed the hooker ads on craigslist because it looks suspicious that I check craigslist every hour.
My valentine's day: watching The Notebook, and porn, eating chocolate, and ice cream. All while jacking off.
Wow... you've managed to cover all of the sad girl stereotypes that exist.
I'm not a creep or anything, just a lost soul looking for a good lay
Puking green right now......... jaimison mcflurry very bad idea
My cock is literally on the edge of falling off. Fuck Vegas.
traded hat for shot of whiskey. lovah yo life. only ADVENTURE NOW. OH GOD IT WENT TO CAPS LOCK
Dude I really need to stop drinking. I chugged a whole bottle of ketchup last night.
I feel like I'm in an ocean of eels jacking me off
I went down on her for 35 minutes and didn't even get a handy. I've never felt more desire to be gay in my life.
I hooked up with a guy dressed as Wesley from the Princess Bride. I kept telling him what I wanted him to do and all he would say was "as you wish"
Regardless of age or alcohol consumption, the knowledge that my dad spanks my mom sexually has the very real potential to fuck my shit up.
And a hot pocket after we fucked. Heaven.
Randomize
