Different chick, same blowjob, same parking lot.
i got really high and listened to the spongebob squarepants theme song and, i swear to god, it was in german.
I'm hoping to finish this bottle of wine before I pass out, I don't want the remainder spilling on my white down comforter.
she chased the tour bus screaming I BET YOUR DICK IS THE SIZE OF YOUR MICROPHONE STAND. i think its safe to say were never getting vip passes again.
any interest in drunk sledding later? if not, any interest in driving me to the hospital later?
Like if there was an award for best way to take a girls virginity, he would get a standing ovation. And first prize. Probably a bunch of roses too. That good.
Well it looked like you were having a fucking apiphany sitting at the toilet with a t shirt around your head
Today's work quote "if I looked like you, I'd be sitting on everyones face"
She told me I made the cut, and to write my name and number on the white board by the door. I was the 7th number down.
BEHOLD THE MORNING PIGEON
SANCTIFY THE CHALK TADPOLE
THERE IS NO SOBRIETY. ONLY ZUUL.
Just used the "Buddy" Poppy flower I got from a veteran to clean my one hitter. "I'm proud to be an American"
So what happened? Or does sex + ramen pretty much cover it?
I fought a guy last night because he said "extra pulp orange juice is the best orange juice"
Teacher vividly described one of the times he did shrooms, sat down, sighed, and told everyone to go do drugs and let us out 15 minutes into class. I love community colleges
If I'm able to walk tomorrow morning, I'm gonna be really disappointed with myself...
Randomize
