U Should have said " it's ok baby most girls Sh*t when I do that.
you're putting all your eggs in a very hungover basket
Hi, I just found this phone under my seat at a brewers game and seeing as you're entered in as 'fillllatio' I figured I'd ask you if you know the illiterate ass who owns this phone. Thanks :)
Can you tell me we didn't drink from a fish bowl we found in the bathroom last night? I know it would be a lie; I just need to hear it.
I'm going to take the bottles back.. And maybe get an x-ray
I thought he was joking about bailing you out until I saw the picture of you and the sheep in the morning paper. Were those my boots you had on it
So i literally just wrote sorry on my quiz and turned it in.
my mom told me that she didn't count me in the census because im a waste of life anyway.
She uses my penis to point at the tv when we talk about the shows. I love her
She was rubbing her face on the carpet, she was high.
And I'm bringing my coffee cup of wine.
I really don't want to get drunk alone tonight. Like, I'll do it, but I won't enjoy it.
I just took a plan B pill with my preworkout. That's the level I'm on today.
on a scale from 1 to "can't put a toothbrush in your mouth without gagging" how hungover are you?
My brain is like a TV with 10 channels, 9 of them are static and the other one just plays that one Nagito Komaeda edit on loop 24/7
Randomize
