i find it a beautiful talent that i know how much pubic hair the girl in the next stall has just from the sound of her urine
Sometimes i look at the biltmore estate and wonder just how small George Vanderbilt's penis was...
my history teacher totally just suggested that we record his lectures and play drinking games with them later so that we pay attention to the material.
you walked into the kitchen holding the skyy bottle and asked us "how do i warm this?"
I'm full of awesome ideas
Yesss you are. Im full of confusion. I keep finding peanut butter on my legs...
I heard from anne today. She has a broken collarbone and is knocked up. Apparently florida is awesome
Im about to shotgun a beer using my mother's knitting needles. home sweet home.
I just put up a picture on my dorm room wall of that ginger you hooked up with to remind myself that everyone makes mistakes
and on the second day it was tequilla tuesday. and the lord saw it was good.
when i saw his roomate the next night he kept openly referring to me as "the girl who orgasms loud" when he would try to get my attention
She found my wedding ring, sallowed it and wished me good luck explaining it to my wife before walking out. Now what?
Then I did coke with my taxi driver where he then ended up paying me for the drive. You should try being a girl sometime it's super sick.
If last night was a preview of 2015, I quit.
All I need is $1,500, a beach ready body, a bigger dick & this will be the best spring break ever.
So here I am, sexting at work.
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