I was giving him a blow job in the kitchen, but it was uncomfortable. so i took the oven mitts and used them as knee pads.
Don't tell me i'm not fucking resourceful.
saturday- my day is open, my legs are not. you in?
well apparently not.
How the hell can the Olympic committee frown so much on weed and yet put on a show you would have to be high to actually enjoy?
She told me to stay away from him cause apparently he fucks anything that walks. clearly i responded with..."i walk"
Yeah he had his two razors labeled "face" and "pubes". Should I be disgusted or impressed?
He tried to finger me at Disneyland! He tried to taint the happiest place on earth!
Zip lining have a big frozedn drink with 151 rum chippendale pic life is GREAT
It's pretty fantastic. I just wanna know how your bra ended up in the aquarium the other night.
Its like he woke the dragon, and the dragon is hungry for a good dick.
I either have a razor blade lodged in my throat or I've been drinking entirely too much Evan Williams.
Like he and the nurses kept being so persistent with it and I just wanted to run out of there in my backless gown and yell FUCK OFF BITCHES IM OUT
This girl braided my pubes while i was asleep. Now i cant get them undone.
If the smell of things stopped me from putting things in my mouth. I wouldn't be popular with Grindr guys.
We need to stop smoking. I just ran into a glass door.
just passed a kid drinking a beer at 2pm. clearly it's the last day of break.
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