She told me a very interesting story, complete with pantomimes, about how she got a habanero seed in her vag
Watching Miami Social reminded me of how much I miss snorting coke with burger king straws in a life guard hut on the beach until we noticed someone was drowning.
Did you save them?
Who?
By connection do you mean me drunkenly grinding my ass on his lap for an extended period of time? If so, then yes, we had a "connection"
when "blow-job jen" drunk dials you at 3 in the morning, you answer
i mean, we fucked on the futon in the garage where his band practices. pretty sure im now obligated to like his band on facebook.
She was eating whipped cream out of a plunger at 3 am in the morning. Yet somehow she still had an elegance about her.
I just walked in on my lesbian roommate having sex in the kitchen, and it was awesome. We proceeded to shots naked together. Happy birthday to me.
How was the party last night?
I'm dangerously close to shitting myself.
MY TITS ARE PERFECTLY CALM.
He said I could stop sending ass pics now and just say hello. I'm not sure if that means he's no longer interested, or that he's a gentleman??
Imagine the quality of nudes you could send with a selfie stick
How you doing tonight? I got my butthole licked so i cant complain.
you had her IN YOUR BED NO PANTS AND YOU GAVE HER THW BOOT?!?!?!
Stage five clinger bro. had to go.
Let's do something tonight. I feel like setting things on fire.
You drank whiskey for 9 hours and did not eat anything.Nothing good was going to come from that.
Randomize
