Haha no. But I cannot hook up with you anymore. Especially when you group text people.
I just pulled a feather out of my vagina.
I am not joking.
He had on juicy sweatpants and thats when i knew he was no longer a threat.
it was like he was trying to blow his nose in my vagina
That haircut screams I'm 35 but I still eat pussy.
please stop judging me for buying a handle of soco on a thursday at 10am. it was on sale, i'm thinking of my future.
Received a verbal warning at work for "riding in a trash receptacle, violating professionalism & infection control."
I gotta say, I do way better with the ladies than I do the men. So if it turns out being gay is a choice, then I'm going to go ahead and choose it.
Nothing says love like couples STD testing
Nothing says breakup like the results
A big toe in my vag is not foreplay.
Dude, I came home and you were passed out halfway through the front door in your Minnie Mouse outfit... with a beer still in hand
She had an asthma attack and had to stop but insisted on getting me off. It's official she's the one
I still can't believe I was army crawling thru his backyard at 2am..
I woke up to a bum peeing outside my window, and he said, "This is embarrassing for you."
You can have my vag. Its useless without you.
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