Well i threw up in my mouth a few times. But i successfully swallowed it. Still going strong.
i'm writing my speech about my 4th grade backstreet boy concert experience. that sums up how seriously i take my life.
I hope no one judges me for becoming a facebook fan of "Adderall" at 5:49 AM...
You should get a handy in the street again, just to prove you've still got it.
he's measuring my pool to see how much jello powder he needs. He got paid today.
I'm buying drugs in the library...And it's not even finals time. What has my life become?
There needs to be a crayon color for how blue my balls are
You kept trying to throw the grocery cart off the balcony.
We just had father kitten bonding time .. I was on the toilet , he was climbing the animal print shower curtain . It was magical
stuck in a tree...bring a ladder. also my arm might be broken. no questions are allowed.
We now only communicate via Xbox messages. Living together is so easy
I have visions of guys in cheetah costumes with suits over it pissing on a children how are you
Dude, where are you?
In back
of car
... whose car?
My pubic hair is shaved into the shape of mistletoe.
I hope that's a joke and if not I need a snap of it
We did Irish Car Bombs out of butter trays, the influence of the retired community is astounding- I didn't know people even owned more than one butter tray.
Randomize
