i want tt clbm rinabw nd ride uncrn
what?
i wnt tto climb a rainboww and ride a unicornnnnnnnnn
is it bad if my mug shot looks better than my profile picture?
Girls behind me in the library are trying to outslut each other with stories from last semester. I'm about to set my cock on the table between them and label it "tie breaker"
Her breakfeast in bed consisted of half a pop tart that I didn't want, and water that I slipped birth control into... Who says chivalry is dead?
It's refreshing to see you in something that is stained with something other than vomit and spilled alcohol.
It took us hanging out like four times to kiss. Id like to fuck you before I'm 30
Your the only friend that would realize I'm gonna get drunk and send coke to me at a bar before I made drunken phone calls for it. You sir complete me.....
She tried to beat the waitress over the head with a bread stick because one of her martini olives was missing a pimento. All while screaming "IT'S GAMEDAY BITCH"
Olive Garden will never be the same.
We were basically fucking on the dance floor. People kept buying us drinks. It really only encouraged us.
I was telling everyone at the frat that they had to try the "fantastic refreshment" that was everclear, vodka and country time
Yeah the last text says "How many your ass,,,,, prepare it" so take that for what it is
I don't remember anything but bad decisions last night
I just want orgasms and emotional validation. Is that too much to ask?
I told you that you couldn’t eat fifty tacos, you slapped me in the face, ate seventeen tacos, and fell asleep on my floor
I apparently ooze single. The second I left his house after break up sex five of my old booty calls text me
Randomize
