Let's get naked and see who's stronger.
I feel like our bond as friends is a lot stronger now that I've talked to you on the phone while having sex.
Dude I'm drinking a martini out of a water bottle, I've become my parents.
If I had a nickel for every time my parents threatened to stop paying tuition I would be a very rich man. Rich enough to pay my own tuition.
like in an apt above a crackhead. A LEGIT CRACKHEAD. he woke me up every morning this week asking me if I wanted to buy a mini fridge and some CDs. at 5 am. EVERY DAY.
Just TALKING to him is better than banging my bf, imagine what actual banging will be like.
Downstairs neighbor just asked me to tell people when they jump off the balcony next time not to land on her flowers
There's a treasure map on your stomach. Treasure may or may not be the clothes you lost...enjoy
I just hope when I turn 21, it doesn't tank my entire semester.
I think the last straw was when you put on ice skates to go across the waxed wooden floor.
I know of an excellent nanny. A lot like Mary Poppins but way cooler. And likes pot.
I never thought it would be so hard to find a power hour partner at 2 on a Wednesday
I can now say I know getting hit in the face with a flying tortilla is not fun
Its the damn oven. I think it wants to eat me.
it's your last night here, let's make it one we may or may not remember.
Randomize
