He’s a liberal pot smoker and perfect for me. He invented a game where we have to smoke a joint every time you hear a Middle Eastern accent on NPR.
I've decided that my new worst fear is that I'll end up on "I Didn't Know I was Pregnant"
who loves string cheese????? I LOVE STRING CHEESE!!!
you know...if you didn't give such great head little things like this would ruin our friends with benefits relationship.
In hindsight, trust falling your grandma was a bad idea. Sorry about that.
Walked into the bar with my burrito and ordered a round of shots for everyone. Not sure if I want to look at the credit card statement.
Dont ask, hes out back rolling around in the yard freaking out. literally just had a 15 minute conversation, only word i could make out was "yellow"
his dad came out and found me sleeping indian style on the couch with my cup balancing on my boobs. didn't spill a drop.
for future reference mormans are hard to crack but they give fucking amazing hand jobs.
Last night after the bar I went home and ate a pulled pork sandwich in a bubble bath
Something bad happened. I'm just giving you some notice. So you can smoke some pot and hide all sharp items in the house.
I wore heels to a golf store in hopes of getting laid. I've hit a new all time low.
there may have been a blood oath never to speak of it again...only reason i can think of as to why there was a 1 inch bloody cut on my right boob
After the first time we had sex he kept saying "I'm proud of you" over and over again
im about to go through the checkout with 3 flasks and a wedding card. let the judgement begin!
update: cashier guessed cash bar before i could say anything. completely bypassed "dry" and knew cash bar right away. i love this state.
His nipple licking is glorious
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