So she said she wears a diaper when she's on her period and I'm not going to lie, I kind of want to see the diaper.
i had to apologize to my friends for being friends with me
Today as a vday present for myself I am walking in between any couples I see on campus.
Wise words from the guy who drunkenly chipped his teeth on the sidewalk
Crosswalk actually
Hahaha I don't remember taking it away. But no one should have a sledgehammer at a party. NO ONE.
...I think i just fell in love with a random undergrad at first glance. He was the awkward young adult version of captain hook. Dear god i need to get off this campus.
well we called the liquor store to tell them to stay open five more minutes so we could make it and they recognized our voices. I've never been more proud.
New rule for Thursdays: no high gymnastics
What did he say?
NOTHING. GODDAMN HIM AND HIS MAGICAL PENIS!
just because you have a nice tits it doesn't make you a magic little snowflake.
So basically he is jobless, a potential serial killer, and has poor taste in music? We simply don't have time for that.
So congratulations, your penis has now sent me to urgent care not once, but twice!
I swear to God if you start calling your dick “my pegasus” we’re not friends anymore
Is it bad form to puke out of a dorm window to avoid looking bad in front of the people in your room?
How about from a sixth floor window?
APPARENTLY I MISSED SOMEONE SWALLOWING A WHOLE BAG OF METH WHILE I WAS ON BREAK.
Randomize
