new low, i just stole money from my 5 year old sister to buy condoms
Spotted: Pepto Bismol pink Scion with Ed Hardy sticker on front window, air freshener, and seat covers. Total Douchette Mobile.
Aunt Jean just announced that her pubic hair is getting thicker as her head hair gets thinner. As a family we are just not a people of mystery.
Once I saw his penis, I knew I made the right choice
Also, I just saw a woman change into her stripper outfit in the bathroom at Target.
I think the threesome was inevitable when she walked out in nothing but his boxers followed by him completely naked.
I have grass duct taped all over my body
I'm covered in European cum. How's your day going?
also please imagine me hopping a fence at 3am using two chairs. It was a shit show. K's guy practically ripped her off the top of the fence bc she got semi stuck. It was like watching Disney on Bud Ice.
So now I'm lying here in bed taking notes from Teen Mom... I fucked up
I think it's safe to assume that dad heard you lose your lesbian virginity last night
Don't forget to make sex 3rd on your calander
Can you please bring the nipple sombrero up?
Everyone has seen your nipples. It's like asking if they ever walked on grass. You need better hangover questions.
you were making out with a girl because you told her you were part of Nsync
Randomize
