I think im pregnant
I think you have the wrong number
I think I am the only girl in the world who would be proud of these scars from rug burn.
Anyways, i'm off to play with a rubber dick and a ouija board with two other girls...
Who is this?
You offered to lift up your dress at the bar so I could see your lower back tattoo
Um, I think that was a general offer to everyone. So...who IS this?
just had Stella and stale goldfish for breakfast under the watchful eyes of an inflatable cactus and 5 llama pinatas. Cinco de mayo success!
don't get you morals all over my torrid fantasties
my brain is opting to stay half drunk rather than relearn how to think. the rest of me is in no position to argue.
Pretty sure that propositioning you to fly across the country for sex fest '13 isn't something my husband would approve of.
At the bar, some guy bumped into you and you screamed "hey, don't touch what you can't afford sunshine!"
Serious question: does drunken cyber sex with a stranger on omegle count as cheating???
I mean, the night I fell out of that bus I made you pour vodka onto my wound to clean it, then duct taped a paper towel to my hand and kept drinking.
She's just a lonely cunt and i hope she stays that way for the rest of her fucking life.
This seems like an over reaction to someone eating your fries.
I think I need practice at oral sex
I own a practice facility.
you were screaming "I don't need a shirt!" repeatedly while in the process of taking it off and flashing the bouncer. we got kicked out. thanks a lot.
Our son just found our secret Sex Dungeon that is no longer hidden in our basement. He brought his Xbox and the TV down there he is currently sitting in the sex swing playing video games. What do I do?
Randomize
