Whats up?
Drunk as a mother trucker with panties on her thumbnail..laying thee down
Stay up. I'm coming home in a little
Ill try..hurry!!!! Thine hour awaits you
By the way, I think my next facebook status update will read, "Aaron recently found out Vanessa's a screamer."
oh god.
i love how i spend my mornings exploring my phone to see what i did last night.
I just found out you can file for divorce online. I love America.
Seriously... There's something wrong here. I'm drinking vodka to mask the smell of chocolate on my breath before I get home and he finds out. I fucking hate couple dieting...
2nd semester senior, always drunk. at this point if i don't get a good parking spot, i turn around and drive home
..But I'm still alive. And thats the main thing
I was mixing candy canes and coors light and was in a great place.
Also, I called my liver hardcore in front of vet students last night and then wound up having three of them trying to palpate it. So...not saying that again.
After we had sex he began to tell me the craziest places he's had sex. He told me KFC bathroom so I rolled over and went to sleep.
Update: the condoms are expired and Canadians are NOT to be trusted!
How many hotdogs are you going to eat today?
THE LIMIT DOES NOT EXIST.
I'm so high that a guy on TV just sneezed and I said "bless you."
My manager gave me an envelope with money in it before he had vacation, and when I asked what it was for, he said it will be his bail money.
at the hospital. Kevin drank straight from the river
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