You are still hot in my book. I wanna dry hump u like a 9th grader then hump for real when the herpes is gone.
That girl's pussy is like White Castles, you crave it once in awhile, but you know next morning you regret eating it.
I hate when laundry day is determined by the number of cum stains on my bed
if you don't go to jail tommorow I'll buy you a 40. Motivation.
you ever wonder how lesbians feel about girls being in relationships with other girls on facebook? could it annoy them more than it annoys me?
47 days without vaginal penetration. Im pretty sure it's grown over.
Do you realize that if your cunt was a missing person it would be assumed dead?
Stripper fight on main stage. It just happened. And it was glorious.
I've never had a woman show me her venereal disease results in a bar before.
There are apples in the microwave and a cup of twigs in the fridge. I think she's hiding in the pantry, I can hear her giggling. Leaving her to it.
I know this is really fun but I don't wanna glow anymore
Called my ex last night, told her I wanted to bang like we use too, her fiance was in the car, I was on speaker phone. NO MORE TEQUILA!
Did she say Ok?
can anyone on this campus do anything sober?
Eating chips and sending nudes. This is my life.
I have drunkenly angered a family of raccoons. Please send help immediately.
You know the rule about how you feel bad for getting food and not offering other people you're around, does that apply when you eat burger king at a strip club?
Randomize
