Look at my ENTIRE past
Highly public sexual behavior gross mismanagement of funds socially unaccpetable and radical speech and thought
Might as well have a blog about it at this point
I would make tea from her tampons just to see her tits
I just recorded courtney puking and set it as my ringtone.
I just found three unopened cans of PBR behind our futon that I think I was saving for winter.
So I've officially decided that I AM that drunken mistake that girls hate themselves for in the morning.
he said I was the best sex he's ever had, handed me a burger king crown and told me to take my walk of shame with pride
I'm going to be blunt here. I don't actually care what you're doing tonight. I just need to know if I need to shave or not.
Please tell me your aunt didn't see the Brita pitcher full of condom wrappers. We had at least 100.
My date just wheeled me home in a shopping cart but it was normal
Haha I haven't even had my interview yet and I'm already trying to fuck my way to the top. 'Merica.
"Accidentally" bump into him after class.
I'm gonna "accidentally" put his dick in my mouth.
Is it just me or is Michael Jackson blasting throughout the house
I left the office with a vacuum, 2 condoms and 300 dollars cash money. Tell me I don't have the most versatile job on the planet.
Last thing googled on my laptop last night was vagina chaffing. What the fuck?
How early is too early to start day drinking? Asking for a friend
About five minutes ago. You’re good now.
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