guess who just spent driver's ed figuring out how to draw a guy giving head
Whenever I'm sad I just imagine if babies were born with mustaches...
Girl next to me just ralphed in a bag. Congrats class of 2010
If i evwr doyble fist jack daniels and smirnoff again, i hereby give you permission to take them both away grom me and give me and give me a glass of wat
do you remember the combo for the lock to my pants?
How do I feel about a girl who has a g string tattooed on
By this time next year I expect us to have full time jobs that we can call out of so we can day drink on beautiful days like this. Oh, and grill.
Is it morally wrong to give today's hookup a Krispy Kreme from yesterday's hookup or is it just fat love?
At this point, if I'm not getting fucked by a man in ONLY cowboy boots, it's not worth it.
strip vodka pong is never a good idea. I saw into his colon when he picked up the ball off the floor
I've been sleeping with the same person for about two months now, I think I know a little bit about stability and commitment.
I passed out drunk in her bed. Her boyfriend showed up and told me to go to the other room or we were gonna have a threesome. I threw up off the side of her bed and left. I feel like that was an adequate response.
These morning walks of shame have became my morning jogs
"Here let me wipe my uterus off your dick" was probably the most unsexy thing said after period sex. I should get an award
When they said they were gonna tattoo each other's gamer tags on their asses, I knew I no longer had a boyfriend.
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