we were having sex in the shower and he dropped me. try explaining THAT to your concerned little brother
would it be inappropriate to describe you with the phrase "bigass titties"?
My own vomit just splashed me in the face. How's your day going
As soon as he lost the election, the reception's open bar became a cash bar. I have never been so disappointed in my countrymen.
I woke up exactly where I passed out... on top of him yet he somehow put his pants back on
Nice. I ate a jello shot out of a bovine blow up doll's love hole last night
Last night was the twilight zone. We hungout with our 45 year old future selves and tried to fuck everything with a dick. Lets move forward from this.
i was gonna do a lot worse than just throw cat food on you while you were passed out, but then you sleep vomited and i felt a little bad
I just came so hard there were tears. Actual tears.
The Mole People would help. They are a kind, helpful people, the Mole People are.
Mole people?
Mole people
Did he ask you why you were in his back yard Sunday night?
She was doing hand motions and used straws from drinks like those airport light batons to have me back my "747 jumbo dick" towards you.
Then he kissed my hand sensually and said "you're a Black Queen. Don't let anyone tell you different."
I also have bagel bites. I know that's not as big an incentive as the cocksucking but.....
Then you fell out of your chair, looked right at me and said, "You are sooo drunk."
Randomize
