He keeps saying he loves me and ruining perfectly good conversations.
dude she's married.
so? a ring don't cover no holes.
do you know what's more awkward than a positive pregnancy in a public bathroom?
not a thing
walking in on a stranger's positive pregnancy test in a public bathroom
Lucky for you, I found your phone.....Not so lucky for you, it was in the bottom of your vomit-filled trashcan.
Nobody is wearing shirts anymore. What is happening.
your mascara is on the toilet seat from when you fell asleep last night
Having never done that before, When should one expect the horrible shame to end? Days, months, ever?
A week or so, depending on size. In your case, maybe give it a month.
You're in a tuxedo, you can pee wherever you want.
There's no point in calling it Big Titties Tuesday if girls with big tits don't get anything special
Champagne pong turned into an expensive and painful experience.
So dude comes out in a full body leotard and a wand and announced he's king of the gays. Chicago is a weird but fun place
The last thing I remember about last night was guzzling white zinfandel out of the box and eating cheese. And I was thinking OH YOU FANCY HUHHH
I opened my bookbag to put my laptop in and I found two granola bars and a pregnancy test. I am clearly prepared for life
Woke up naked with a post-it that said "don't ask questions" on my ass...i know im not supposed to ask but uhm what did I do?
The end of the friendship was inevitable. I hooked up with her cousin and forgot to mention it to her
Randomize
