I'm pretty sure you can't just waltz into a walk in clinic and ask them to de-baby you.
I found the hair cut I want on the girl in the porno I'm watching. now really sure how to show my stylist.
They had their heads out of the car singing the wrong words to the national anthem as we drove through traffic of people leaving the fireworks. AMURICA
Like if a baby's bottom had nipples, that's how my boobs feel
I've taken a shot every five minutes for the past twenty. His valentines cupcakes are going to be a fucking delicious vodka induced mess. Thinking about putting vodka in this next batch. I'm the best girlfriend.
NO MAKING MOLDS OF ANYONES GENITALS
Fine. Suck all the fun out of life.
Why put me through the conflicting battle of being happy for your vagina but sad for my vagina for no reason ahole
If you buy me a steak I will make the extra effort to ride you. If not, I'm just gonna lay there.
I have no concept of chastity or moderation, she is a Catholic guilt poster child, how could I not try to hit that
Is it okay to mention my ambition to become a supervillian and kill all humans on a first date, or is that a second date discussion?
I just showered and shaved both ankles and one knee because that's the skin that's exposed in the jeans I'm wearing today. Please tell me I'm not the only one who does that.
I would never blame a unicorn for anything.....how dare you
I’m also apparently a very socialist drunk now
Instead of a horny one. All I want to fuck is capitalism these days.
They have a shelf full of jello shots, what have i gotten myself into
That bitch claimed that you said it was ok if she drank your vodka. Obviously she has never met you
Randomize
