You don't get off work for this? I feel genuinely bad for you.
I'll have a beer when I get into the office. Yes, I hide beer in my work frige.
this coming from the guy that still thinks "pulling out" is a good form of birth control? just walk away
You know that hot fire fighter I fucked yesterday? Well him and two other guys are killing the fire on my stove. Awkward.
Urine might work for jellyfish stings, but we found out it doesn't work well for nose bleeds...
smelt my brothers hands when he got home to see if he lied about smoking again...he didn't lie but i definitely didn't expect to smell some other girls vagina.
I'm pretty sure I just overheard my boss call his sperm precious metal...
your facebook page is a work of drunk art.
Dude, I went home and roller-bladed into her bedroom so I didn't have a 'walk' or shame in the morning..I wouldn't talk to her unless she refereed to me as Brink
I shouldn't trust a guy I just met with the pull out method. That's a big responsibility.
He tried to finger me at Disneyland! He tried to taint the happiest place on earth!
He was so good, that I'm pretty sure he fucked his religion into me. P.S. I'm Jewish now.
He was smart enough to bring a condom to our study date so I mean I'm sure he'll do fine on the test
He has a British accent. He could read me the phone book and I would come so hard he would need a wizened old man in a rowboat to save him.
My friend came into the apartment in real handcuffs at 4 in the morning. She was laughing and running around and then proceeded out the door...
I would offer you moral support, but I have questionable morals..
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