you were carrying a trash bag around insisting it was your purse. I'll let you guess how your night went
i dont think my parents would of encouraged me to save years of birthday money if they knew what i would eventually spend it on
Beach body diet is off. Pizza hut worked its way back onto my google chrome top 8
Have you ever wondered what your stripper song would be?
So the bar isnt gonna put that broken window on my tab. appaerently they want cash
OMG HE JUST PUKED WITH THE DOOR OPEN WHILE DRIVING ON THE ROAD AND OMG WE NEED TO CHAT BUT NOT ATM CAUSE THERES PUKE ON MY PHONE
You may have graduated college on time, but my 6th year ass gets to see awesome tits every day just for showing up.
This guy randomly got in our taxi, and has now collapsed on the sofa anouncing that he's staying the night.
he brought with him gifts of cookie dough and penis. upgrading our relationship from fwb's to bf/gf was an incredibly smart merger.
this is honestly why we're friends. we drink tea and plan to do drugs together.
There aren't enough words in the English language to fully describe how worried I am for your dick. And the rest of you, I suppose.
Do you have Pokemon Go yet? I just caught a Clefairy on my walk of shame and feel way better about myself.
is it just me or does "lol" kill any sort of vibe while sexting?
We decided it was a good idea to go streaking through the campus. Everything was fine until the sprinklers turned on and we realized the keys were in his pocket.
We get up to three toppings. Dignity is not one of them.
Randomize
