oh yeah I'm gonna practice throwing up so I can be ready for Friday night. and Saturday. Beth is back, diaper and all.
I didn't mind getting the stomach flu from him. we had great sex AND I'm seven pounds lighter
well he's currently spooning the coffee table
He gave me a promise ring. He promised that he will imagine me as every girl he fucks in college.
He filled our room with little plastic cups of beer so the only way I could get out was by drinking them all.
Party was cancelled. Me and my dog are high as tits. Wanna go roam the outlet mall?
I just can't have sex with a guy who has nicer eyebrows than me
after I lost so many games of beer pong they made me be a troll, I sat under the table and told riddles while retrieving balls.
I'm about one sudden movement away from being able to cross "throw up in a fortune 100 company's bathroom" off my bucket list.
that's just what you get for learning massage techniques from gay porn
Speaking of fellatio on fictional characters, the Stay Puft Marshmallow Man would be a delicious blowjob.
SCOTCH AND CIGARS AT THE TITTY BAR. YOU ARE COMING WITH US.
drinks after work?
that question mark offends me.
I just had a 10 minute staring contest with my dog. Can you come over?
You lost to your mom AND grandma in beer pong last night. pretty sure that constitutes a retirement from the sport
Randomize
