rainy day on campus = new personal fetish for girls in booty shorts and colorful rain boots
dude, there's a fucking musical in my head. it's fucking awesome being this high.
good news. according to wikipedia, my blackout might just have been "post-trauma amnesia"
On the plus side this hangover is the tipping point that finally convinced my lazy ass to get some sunglasses.
Im walking to an ob gyn practice session right now. Literally have to get face first in a middleaged vagina in 10 min.
Just know I'm having fun but I still have my motor functions.
Yeah then she waddled like a duck in silence sat down and ate the entire paper towel roll.
Today's been pretty great, I went and bought the new Batman for the sole purpose of masturbating to Bane
A blind man just put his face in my cleavage. I'm also crying.
Technically ya I did. Hes tried to get down my pants like 3 times now and every time I have been all "these are not the Droids you are looking for"
FYI you are now my emergency contact at plan parenthood
Its official. The summoning powers of my vagina are unmatched by anything in this world
Girl. There is no more toilet paper. You should have seen the twerking I just did to shake the pee off.
Atleast we had sex on the couch before your ex took it from you
I'm going to force her to break up with me this week. Tonight I plan to shit the bed. If that doesn't work I'm not sure what's next.
Randomize
