i feel rough
just turned on the light, there is blood EVERYWHERE.
I just told my doc I would like to talk about my drinking problem, but that it would probably get in the way of my weekend plans.
You owe me 10 bucks. He wasnt in jail. Found him at 530 this morning when the smoke alarm went off. He passed out naked in the middle of cooking bacon. No idea where he was before that.
God Help those hot young girls. It's going to be like Bambi in iraq. Except worse.
I just had to ask my dad for money to pay for my birth control. I've hit financial rock bottom.
So you have no knowledge as to why I am hearing loud repetitive mooing from next door?
He was going down on me and raised up for a minute, slipped and punched me in the face. My lady boner left immediately.
He has until sunday, then my legs are officially closed to him
all i could think about while he was eating me out was how pretty his eyelashes were
You should imdb "mourning wood" to see what I'm doing with my $80,000 English degree today
I'll be there in spirit. Right there in your vagina.
She bit my shoulder during foreplay last night, and it's already infected. I think she has rabies.
I just delete my bank app from my phone to have enough storage to download tindr. Is this my life now?
Has anyone heard from Jamie or has she actually just been having sex for 48 hours?
Just escaped from the ER. Meet me at the bar in 20 minutes.
Randomize
