How's tricks little girl?
Trix are for kids, old man.
hey you didnt make it to our afterparty what happened?
Ran around with a boom box broke a trampoline float, had a girl lick my ear the usual
A friday without alcohol is hardly a friday at all
You crawled through a doggy door 5 times for a shot if cheap vodka.
If I have to masturbate more than twice a week you fail as a fuck buddy. Just so you know...................you failed
When I was leaving this morning he gave me some candy off his floor to prove he was a nice guy... He definitely knows the way to my heart. Best one night stand ever
Hay for your next interview you should go in with fake blood on your cloths and tell them you just finished saving a life, then cry
I need a genital shamwow being this wet.
I'm just gonna put on a documentary and throw up
I woke up with a hangover and a man bun. Reached over to drink water and accidentally chugged raspberry vodka. So there's that.
Oohh. Then yes, he is the Alpha Fuckboy.
Can we do lunch at 3? I have a blowjob scheduled for 2.
You schedule blowjobs?
Had phone sex with my boss who I still haven’t seen in person. How’s your Monday ?
That man fucks like a champ. The sex was so good I did him again in the morning just to be sure
I’m torn. She’s crazy - like legitimately “Wear your skin as a suit” crazy. But her blow jobs and dirty talk are Pornhub quality!
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