Ur dog is a babe magnet. Reminds me of me
I mean i might have to drop this class tomorrow. I just walked into a midterm
I developed a drinking game for WoW. Everytime I die, I take a shot.
Please get laid.
I made him sleep with a condom on and i passed out on the carpet with only a bra on.
So how many licks to the face does it take to get kicked out of the bar?
Blacked in riding a tandem bicycle with a stranger. We stopped for hot dogs.
If you are drunk already, then as your friend I am advising you to stop writing on your dads Facebook wall
I had a dream last night where I used the marginal product rule to figure out how much more hangover I got per sip of four loko, econ is taking over my life...
How the fuck you gonna play love don't cost a thing in a strip club?
I like her. She smells like old lady but tastes like whiskey
Heat not working dressed like an eskimo. A real one with a ski sock on my junk
after you got high, you started to make guac with your bare hands and said: "there's soda bubbles in my legs"
That's it. I'm moving to LA & sitting on his face.
He gave us beer and shots and made us pizza in his brick oven before firing a handgun into the air to signal it was time to give us a ride in his inflatable raft to the bars.
He's like a mythological figure
Is it good porn? Or is it more of that fucked up Cabbage Patch Doll porn you made us watch
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