I admire the strength of friendship we have that allows for sharing husbands.
so i decided to listen to you and went ahead and slept with him. you owe me 3 minutes
they said they heard you say put it in my butt
I feel like i made up for not being able to drink on St Pattys Day, Mardi Gras, and last years Cinco De Mayo. That hungover.
I woke up with $100 in my pocket and I was so excited until I found an atm receipt for a $500 withdrawal. Not as exciting.
Please do not make a facebook page for my hickeys.
she's drunk at 2 in the afternoon again. at least my mother is predictable.
Now I know he's not trying to fuck me. He took me to lunch at White Castle.
It's national boyfriend day supposedly, would it be appropriate if I posted a picture of my dildo?
We're both clumsy. What does this imply for our kids?
Helmets.
She asked what it would take for you to fuck her. You drunkenly mumbled, "pepperoni pizza" and then got in the cab by yourself. You were smiling too. It was weird.
They're either celebrating their tax money or trying to kill each other.
He took my Spanx off and still fucked me twice. I call that success.
IF THE SUNS NOT EVEN OUT THEN WHY IS HIS DICK OUT WTF
And I think she just drunkenly ordered an ipad. she said it was so pretty she couldn't keep it "locked up" because an ipad has to be let free.
Randomize
