pretend to be my girlfriend and sign me up for tool academy
I don't think its a good idea if I moon a whole bar again
wicked high...have munchies. cherry flavor lube. problem solved.
Tell her you can forgive her unacceptable behavior because her dad and his dog weren't married when they conceived her.
I didn't take her seriously until she snorted that ramen noodle flavor packet...
I am moving slowly w him. I havent even masturbated to him yet.
apparently i walked around all last night forcing people to beer bong whatever drink was in their hand. so far this morning ive had three people refer to me as beer bong man
Sometimes I wonder if my parents know that I mean horny when I say lonely.
That's the only definition of lonely that I know.
As I was sneaking out of his house last night his moms lover was sneaking in, he held the door for me...
Last night you found an onion ring in your fries and then you started singing "A Moment like this"
My wife just tried to justify to me why she wants to bring a girl into bed with us. I should win an academy award for my face and response of 'well of its what you need.'
I miss using glorious as an adjective. I'm gonna start doing that again. And I'm gonna try to get cuntatrosphe in there some more, too.
Ah. Hot spring. Infinitely less skeevy than a hot tub. These North Carolinian dudes are all class.
You're going to be mad because I got baked, but not that mad because I'm bringing home kfc.
Nope. I'm an adult now. I can successfully avoid to vomit in defiance of the porcelain god\n
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