and then he ordered a "diet and rum" like the most important part of the drink was the diet.
We discussed how the marijuana was making the dopamine float around our nucleus accumbens last night when we were high. Yet another example of how our science classes are perverting our good times.
just smoked a blunt while listening to nsync. i now know what my childhood was missing.
I just used a franzia box to scrape the snow off my car.
we woke up to him feeding us cheetos at 3am. and by feeding i mean shoving them in our mouths and saying "i mean who doesn't like cheetos"
What's the over under on catching something from your sister?
I had to feed him the pizza because he was too blazed to do it himself
If that's all it takes to cure your hangovers then you need to drink more.
I really want to fuck that guy in the full wind breaker suit
First time at a gay bar. I found a surrogate AND sperm donor! The surrogate is straight, so it evens out.
I made out with about ten people last night. And four of them were just on the way to my car from the bar. And one was my roommate.
Apparently mr clean magic erasers don't clean blood off the ceiling
Totally just railed SuperGirl for my birthday. Best Girlfriend EVER!
She's like the sister I never had that I want to bang.
I've officially slept through a hurricane, a tornado and had sex during an earthquake. I'm surviving.
Randomize
