actually, I'm a sock model
I think, one-on-one, Paul Rudd could be very threatening in like a REALLY good way.
I would have been "that girl" at the party last night if it wasn't for that girl who puked in the potted plant...
Changing from sweatpants to jeans at 3 in the afternoon makes the day seem so much more productive than it actually was.
Please check on her. She announced that Thursday she'd open herself to any veteran so as to thank them for their service. "my services for your service" and left the bar with three numbers.
Can we hire someone to dj while we have sex?
I'll be accepting presents in the forms of drinks, drugs, and orgasms. So any or all of those will be fine.
She came to the party with six kegs and a life sized portrait of Lavar Burton. SHE WILL BE MY WIFE.
Will you push me around in a wheel chair, introduce me to people, and say nothing as I get up and walk away?
my heaven will be filled with hot naked men covered in chick-fil-a sauce and me wearing a bib
I'll bring your "congrats on finally banging" cookies tomorrow, I'm exhausted.
You haven't lived until you have fucked while Fantasia is on
It's best not to have your booty call on social media. So if they post stupid shit, you still want to fuck them.
Question: how does one descretely ask the ice cream truck driver thats out at 10:00pm if he sells weed?
You know that panicky moment when you go home with a guy and realize you’ve been there before?!? HAPPENING RIGHT NOW!!!
Turns out I banged his son a few months ago but the kids back at college so I don’t have to worry about him walking in while Dad has me bent over the couch
Randomize
