Left my ID again and at a Giant's game. This is the second time they accepted my handgun safety certificate as proof of ID to buy beer.
Slugs feel like vagina... thought you would want to know
I'm sorry you missed class, the topic today is copy and paste. I'm not even kidding.
These 5 days benders will be the death of me. Just living and breathing is a struggle right now.
Since when does sleeping with your RA not result in free meal swipes? I feel so tricked...
Of course my walk of shame coincided with the alumni marathon on campus. But, I did get a thumbs up from the woman handing out water.
I had a dream that our used condom started talking to me. I told me that I did an amazing job, and told me that it saved me. From aids.
I ended up at home with a random bird sculpture and flowers
So I got my junk pierced since we've fucked. You should get in on this.
Never have i felt more judged than when i was throwing up in front of a hello kitty shower curtain at 5 in the morn
What procrastination leads to: I have submitted a third of my job applications this week with a BAC that would get me arrested
He called me saying he got nice rims for his car so now we can fuck in style
Well, I crapped my pants in front of her entire family, was laughed out of their house, and I had to walk home with shit stained pants. So, yeah, it went really well.
It seems that Coffee is the true alpha male.
I was randomly pulled aside to have my bag checked. It had 50 condoms in it.
Randomize
