I asked my mom, she said yes...but you have to shower with grandpa.
The money shot is kinda like the "The End" part of a children's book isn't it?
Im not sure if he just tripped or was star gazing, but i gave him head anyway.
i just found my sim card.....i hid it in my tylenol bottle....i guess to ensure i would find it mid-hangover
She was adopted and used to dance at Sapphire. just my speed.
What a good family we'd make, him and I and our kids and his good dick.
Did you get drunk last night? You put Christian lyrics as your fb status again.
Her vagina felt like a fur coat. It was weird at first but I kinda liked it
I made this pact with my vagina, though. No more heartless fuckery.
I think if I set up a series of baby gates up the stairs each one more difficult to undo then the last that should be able to stop your drunk vagina.
I HAVE NEVER BEEN FRIENDZONED IN MY LIFE AND THIS GIRL IS GOING TO MAKE ME QUESTION EVERYTHING. LIKE A GODDAMN CUNT. A WONDERFUL, BEAUTIFUL, MAJESTIC, LESBIAN CUNT.
I just climbed out the passenger side of my car because there was a spider on mine. I'm doing adulthood right
It's 11:50 on Friday the 13th. There's a full moon. AND the bride to be just puked on herself while getting a lap dance from a stripper named...wait for it....LUCKY. Is this real life?
Well I only snuggle him I don't hump him. That's rude.
I JUST SNEEZED WITH A MOUTHFUL OF CHEWED UP CASHEWS AND THEY CAME OUT MY NOSE AND IT HURT AND NOW I HAVE A LITTLE NOSEBLEED
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