i was just at lovers lane looking for gifts for a bachelorette party.....with my mom
she said if she won the lottery she'd fuck me... isn't that like government funded prostitution?
i wish we had morning classes together so we can spike our coffee.
I made $300 today by selling pizza @ $4 a slice to nerds who refuse to leave the library. God I love finals time
I forgot to tell you the best part. The folded up paper he wrote his number on opened up to be a picture of him when he was younger wearing a Columbia tshirt in front of NASA and in pen said his name and "space consultant."
Found out my brother is now my eskimo brother...One of my proudest times as a brother
The puppy is a lightweight. 3 beers and he's passed out on the floor already. I repeat, the puppy is a lightweight.
Kayla got stiches in her face. Rode in an ambulance shotgun. Tried to steal a baby, thought it was mine
WHY AM I ALWAYS DEFEATED BY THE LATIN COCK?!?!
Um....sorry for hooking up with your brother last night...
Actually i take that back. You dropped the whiskey last night and broke the bottle. Were even
His IQ level must rival that of a comatosed aardvark.
And your cousins porn shouldn't have been the first straight porn you watched. And for that I am sorry
Exactly, there's no such thing as commitment at foam n' glow
How drunk is she?
She's trying to French braid the dogs hair, there's no stopping her
He just kept mumbling that he was too drunk for society and then he peed in a bush
Randomize
