Leave Me Alone
At least least me cry on your voice mail
his facial hair looked like he just ate out someone's ass
we're at Rob's house and just invented the best drinking game ever....we are on Chatroulette and everytime we see a dick we all have to drink.
I won't be sarcastic... just naked
I woke up this morning next to a stack of saltines & a txt from u saying "do it." it took me a second to remember wat was going on
He calls it "his noble steed" and i plan to ride it.
The only reason I'd ever want a boyfriend is so that someone would spoon feed me applesauce when I'm so hungover I can't move
When I ask you to make sure no ones coming while I'm changing.. The logical friend would keep watch. But you my, best friend come stand in front of me and flash everybody.
We got kicked out of Walmart for playing cod with squirt guns of course it was better then prom.
I JUST ATE A STRANGE BURRITO, I SHOULD NOT BE EXPECTED TO KNOW ANYTHING RIGHT NOW.
Guess who just enrolled into online classes at Hogwarts? This gal.
You thought there were zombies attacking us so you tried to tuck and roll out of a moving vehicle. Also you should consider wearing underwear
I rode home in a shopping cart so there's that. MVP to the guy that pushed it.
I called 911 when they kicked me out of the bar last night.
I refuse to fake an orgasm. If I'm dating him, he better work for that shit.
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