We should takd a huggy cab to snuggle bunnyville
And she was only 16?
You say that like it's a bad thing.
I mean I'm basically single. Or maybe just an asshole. Either way.
The bridesmaids just went smackdown on the floor, over the bouquet. I saw nipple. Best wedding ever
when he was about to finish he told me to avert my eyes and keep my lady parts away. chivalry isnt dead.
I was still in a towel. We hadn't even started drinking yet and the champagne bottle dropped and exploded literally up into my vagina.
They left me stranded on the side of the road with a table and five gallons of water. They said it was all I really needed to survive. People are staring
And now whenever I see a documentary about dolphins, I think about sex, which is super weird
Just got a 15 minute lecture from a drag queen about how bisexuality doesn't exist. Cher would be so disappointed in her.
He said that he made a girl squirt to the ceiling and I got curious
Yeah, I'm just gonna try to repress that and remember him for his big dick and perfect jawline.
he sent me a green and gold dick pic and advised me I needed to come drive the snake from Ireland.
My little brother came home while I was sitting there icing my vagina with a bag of peas. Asshole looks at me, high fives Ryan, then leaves.
He ate me out while I finished season 1 of Stranger Things. If that's not a modern day relationship goal, then I don't know what is.
I need to stop waking up with no pants on.
what happened this time
I dont know everyone was gone and there was a bird in the room
Randomize
