I texted him about a book we both like. I was expecting a "ya great book... let's bone" response. It didn't work
you turned on the Care Bears movie at 5am and kept screaming "I CARE"
yea i came on her face and told her to bring a snorkel next time
Where does it all go? I've busted inside of you like 10 times in the last week.
They were done having sex when I went to the room. They had that look on their faces.
Disappointment?
On the plus side I got to ride in a fire truck and I didn't have to blow anybody for it
Yea. I couldn't get a job in fast food but I can teach Americas youth. The future looks great
Shit, my parents are coming over and I just realized that a grinder is not an acceptable paperweight
just imagine me sitting naked on a toilet with a fully-clothed dude i havent seen in 2 years, trying to make normal conversation except that im covered in blood and he's helping wipe me down while i try not to pass out because blood makes me NERVOUS. And he's apologizing and i'm apologizing.
Not going to lie: not even the fact I'm wearing men's cargo pants can hide the fact I have an awesome ass.
He is a sweet angel sent from dick heaven!
I thought since you asked to see my dick I might as well say hi
Omg my brain. Most recent thought: I fucking prayed in the bathroom that the other girl would leave. Prayed to Jesus
I just puked in a chili’s bathroom... happy birthday to me
just because he was passed out beside the toilet, didn't give you tge right to pee on him
my aim is off when im drunk
Randomize
