I saw him at work today and he gave me a really awkward "I know what you do drunk" look...
She acts like you when your on meds
She acts like batman?
im giving 12 year olds life advice. this is probably illegal somewhere.
He's hinting that I'm starting to be kicked out of their blunt rides, I can feel it.
I will not remember tonight for the most part. This text will be evidence. You can and probably will use this against me.
I feel like the way dolphins mate would be the approach that a guy would have to use in order for you to sleep with them
I almost put an adult beverage in my sippy cup for the beach but realized the next step would be rehab.
No the next step is being buzzed at the beach. I would've.
I think I fell asleep on the dance floor at one point...but played it off cool and acted like I just did the robot.
Dicks are not precious.
taking shots alone in my kitchen before I go learn to give a lapdance. when did this become my life?
raging hangover at work with a lunchable dreaming of the sex ill never have. my life is perfect.
He nicknamed his dick "the fountain of youth" I think it's time to move on...
just because he was passed out beside the toilet, didn't give you tge right to pee on him
my aim is off when im drunk
IDK if she's gay or not, but there is something about the way she looks at me that says "do dirty dirty things to me." I have no choice but to oblige.
I have a lot of money, and no morals. shots on you when you get here.
Randomize
